Congratulations. You have just married into a fun, dynamic and probably very large family. You have married a Greek. The head of the household in theory is the father, however, in reality is the mother that makes and breaks the rules in a traditional Greek home. There are a few things that you will need to know and remember to survive your new very loving, yet very intrusive mother in-law.
Step 1
The first thing you must remember is that you will never be good enough for her son or daughter. Her children are her life and she expects nothing but the best for them and from them. Once you acknowledge that you are merely a second best because Christ himself or the Virgin Mary were unavailable for marriage, the rest should be easy. Once married please know that you are now Greek yourself, regardless of your DNA, if you did not want to become Greek, you should not have married one, according to your new mother in-law
Step 2
Answer the phone when she calls, preferably the first time she calls. This phone call will occur when she wakes up. It does not matter that you are still sleeping, she will call to make sure that her child did not die in the middle of the night. Failing to answer the phone by the third phone call will result in her calling every hospital in town, thus making her even more excitable and angry when you finally do answer the phone.
Step 3
We are lucky to live in a world of technology. Cell phones, computers, blackberries, etc., are all mechanisms that make a Greek child accessible at all hours in every part of the globe. Your mother in-law will keep the numbers and email addresses of every one of her children tucked away in her wallet. Therefore, you cannot hide. She will find you. Answer the phone.
Step 4
There are no invitations in Greek homes. Greek parents love to go for ‘drives’ and those leisurely moments will lead to your front door, unannounced. If you are lucky, they will not have a key, but if for some reason you are not home, they will wait in the driveway, calling you on every available mode of communication you have. There they will sit, in your driveway, until you come home.
Step 5
If by chance they do have a key you will come home to a home cooked meal, laundry that is finished, folded and put away, and furniture that is rearranged. On the days when your mother in-law has not come over, you will be sure to somehow find your way to her home. This visit will be either for dinner, for maintenance on some part of her house or just so she can see her grandchildren. It will not matter that she just saw them that morning. She wants to see them again.
Step 6
Finally, remember that everything she does from the time she wakes up until the time she goes to sleep is for her children. You, as the spouse of one of these children will benefit in several ways. You will never go hungry. You will always have a baby-sitter. You will always have new clothes and so will your children. You will never go missing unreported. You will always have a defense attorney. You will never be right, but it is okay, your spouse has never been right either. And above all, you will always be loved, even though you are not what she had always ‘hoped’ for.
Tips & Warnings
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A sense of humor is key, laugh and your Greek mother in-law will laugh with you. She means well and her intentions are golden.
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If you want to stay married to your Greek spouse, you must accept that you are also marrying his or her family. ‘Til death do you part.
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