They say that your Koumbaros is like your best man but in the Greek Orthodox Church the Koumbaro does a lot more than just organise the bucks night and give a speech…
The Role of the Koumbaros
During the wedding ceremony, the Koumbaros puts the rings on the Bride and Groom and then crosses the Stefana over their heads. The Koumbaros also takes the first steps with the newlyweds as they walk around the church during the Dance of Isaiah.
It can be said that they the Koumbaro has strong spiritual connection to the Bride and Groom and will be a part of their life forever. When the newlyweds have their first child the Koumbaros goes on to Christen the child and then becomes the Nouno (Godfather).
The Koumbaro has a significant spiritual role in the couples life and so the decision is not always easy. Here are a few points to consider before choosing your Koumbari:
- How many Koumbari do you want in your bridal party? Just one Koumbaro or a combination of Koumbari?
- Is your Koumbaro Greek Orthodox?
- Do you want your Koumbaro to Christen your children in the Greek Orthodox Church?
- If you have more than one Koumbaro, where will each person stand?
- Is your Koumbaro prepared/aware of the financial obligations associated with the role?
- Do you think that your Koumbaro will accept the role when you ask him?
- Does your family know your Koumbaro?
- Is your Koumbaro a friend to both the Bride and the Groom?
- Is your Koumbaro married? Will his wife stand up at the alter also?
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What else should the Bride and Groom consider before choosing their Koumbaros?
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Related topics that you might like:
Can the koumbaro be Catholic or does he/she have to be orthodox?
They must be Orthodox.
that’s incorrect. I recently enquired to a greek orthodox priest about allowing my catholic best friend to be my koumbaro and he said yes. he just can’t baptise my children
That priest must have made an exception. Check out the website for the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America. It’s very clear that the sponsors (koumbaro) must be an Orthodox Christian in good standing. http://www.goarch.org/archdiocese/departments/outreach/resources/pastoralresources/pastoral
Does the Koumbari have to be Orthodox? This is one of the most common questions asked by a couple planning to marry in an Orthodox Church… especially if they live outside of Greece, in Australia or in the USA.
Traditionally the koumbari had to be of Orthodox faith however in recent times, many Priests have allow a non-orthodox person to sponsor the couple, as long as they are from another Christian faith (eg. Catholic, Church of England etc).
Some Priest allow a non-orthodox person to be the “second” koumbaro. Meaning that there needs to be one Orthodox Koumbaro as well as the person who is non-orthodox. Usually, in this instance the Orthodox Koumbaro will do the stefana and the non-orthodox will do the rings.
My best advice would be to contact the Priest who plans to marry you. He will give you his advice and make a judgment based on your personal circumstance.
Traditionally, you do not ask someone to be your Koumbaro/a. Others ask you for the role and you choose among those who have asked.